cybertoothtiger (cybertoothtiger) wrote in 24_fanfic,
cybertoothtiger
cybertoothtiger
24_fanfic

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Undercover lover

Rating: T
Characters: Jack/Teri, others
Summary: Jack thinks back on his first undercover mission
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
A/N: I think I have figured this out now. Thank you for your help and patience! 



Now all they have to do is wait. Jack stays out of sight in the back seat of the car and keeps his gun trained on Theo. The German agent has agreed to give up his contact in exchange for the WET list, but Jack can tell he’s not happy about it. He’s obviously in love with Collette.

“What’ll happen to her?” he asks.

“Why do you care?”

“Have you ever been in my situation? Undercover for long periods and involved with a woman?”

“I’ve been undercover.”

“There’s no question we’re doing what has to be done for our countries. But sometimes it’s harder than others.”

Jack stays silent, his mind going back over the many women he’d been involved with over the years of undercover work. Claudia, of course. He still carried the pain and guilt of her death. There had been others, but the one that stood out was the first one. Jane. 

-----------------------------------

Plain Jane, she called herself. Not that there was anything plain about her: long, dark, curly hair reaching almost to her narrow waist. A firm round ass, and great breasts. Hell, amazing breasts. Expensive breasts. Artie had bought them for her before a few months before a faulty fuse exploded in his face, killing him and giving Jack the opening he needed to infiltrate the white supremacist cell.

Normally, Jack preferred the real thing, but in this case it made it easier. It made the whole thing seem less real, less like cheating on Teri. His fake identity was having a fake relationship with fake tits. And it meant Jane was not above a little deception herself. Not if it helped her get what she wanted. What she wanted was the security and prestige of sleeping with Fred’s second-in-command, and now that was Jack. What Jack wanted was information, and sleeping with Jane helped him get it.

He had resisted her advances for a while after he was first ‘recruited’ by White Fist. They were interested in a young, disillusioned former Army kid with explosives training and blond hair and blue eyes. After a few weeks, he realized that turning her down was drawing attention to himself. The other guys, most of whom had spent more than one lonely night wishing they were in Jack’s shoes, were starting to wonder what was up with him. Jack was sure he’d heard Dwayne snickering about “Don’t ask, don’t tell” when he thought Jack wasn’t listening.

Phillip’s assistant Sam had been such an integral part of the Bauer household when Jack was growing up, he had learned tolerance at an early age. And of course, with Teri being a design student in L.A., many of the young couple’s friends were gay. Jack had even been secretly flattered when one of them had developed a little crush on him. He had no problem with it, but he knew these guys would. And you would have to be gay not to want to be with Jane. Or married. And he was not supposed to be married.

He could see that he’d have to do something soon or he’d have a big problem on his hands. But how could he cheat on Teri? They’d gotten married so young, she was only the second woman he’d ever been with. After Marilyn left him for Graem and he’d found Teri, he’d never even wanted any other woman, even though girls like Jessica and Tracy never hesitated to let him know they were interested. Teri was everything to him. And now she was waiting at home with Kim, having to be a single parent not knowing if he was okay or even alive.

The night he’d come home with this assignment, Jack and Teri lay in the dark talking after putting Kim to bed. It was a good opportunity for him. They’d always known this day would come when he joined the CIA, but that didn’t make it easier.

“How long will it be?” Teri lay on her back, staring unseeing at the ceiling.

“I don’t know. A couple of months, probably.” Jack slipped his hand into hers, tracing her wedding ring gently with his fingers.

“A couple of months?” Teri took her hand away, rubbing her forehead while she calculated. “But Jack, it’s May now. That will take us into summer holidays. What about our trip to Canada? Kim’s really looking forward to the drive up the coast.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Maybe you and Kim could go to Carol’s in July and if I’m done by August maybe we could still go…”

“Really?” She glanced at him. “I don’t know, Jack. I don’t want to get her hopes up if it’s not a sure thing.” He nodded slowly.

“I know. I don’t know. It depends how it goes, I guess.” He felt like crap. Teri rolled towards him, searching his face.

“Will you be able to call? To visit?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“God, Jack. I’m so worried. What kinds of things will you have to do?” He hadn’t been able to tell her much, but she knew that if they needed him to join this organization, these were not good people he was going to be spending time with. He touched her cheek gently, staring into her eyes. They were beautiful, shining with tears in the glow from the streetlight.

“I don’t know, Teri.” He kissed her forehead gently. “But I promise you. I will never do anything to hurt you.”

----------

How would he be able to look her in the eye when this was over? Jane was a skank, and it would raise suspicion if he wanted to use protection. What if he caught something? How could he put Teri in danger like that?

He decided to talk it over with Walsh. They arranged to meet in Santa Monica.

“Jack, you knew when you took this job that you would have to do whatever it takes.” Walsh took a sip from his coffee and leaned against the railing of the pier. The light breeze off the ocean promised a warm summer ahead.

“Richard, I love my wife. I don’t know if I can do this.” Jack looked desperate. Walsh turned his head away. God, the poor kid. He wants out of this so badly. Well, I’m sorry, man. This is the way the world works. Suck it up.

“Listen, I know how you feel. Believe me, I do. I’ve been there.”

You’ll start off hating yourself, but then you’ll be surprised. You might even start to like it. And then one day when the wife has been too tired or busy for the hundredth time, you’ll find yourself wishing you were undercover again.

Walsh wasn’t proud of this, but he knew it was true. He hoped it would be different for Jack.

Fat chance. You never know, though. This kid has integrity.

He turned back to Jack, putting his hand on the younger man’s arm.

“You have to remember that Jack Brownlee is not you.”

“But it will be me. I –”

“No. No, it won’t. It will be Jack Brownlee. Your job is to get Jack Brownlee where he needs to be, so Jack Bauer can tell us what’s going on and break these guys.” 

And so he had.
-----------------------------------

As he drove back into L.A. in his Taurus – nice, but not too nice, a good, solid, American car that was part of his cover – he thought about what Walsh had said. Jack Brownlee is not you. He had his doubts. He’d done some crappy things before and managed to leave them more or less at work, but this was different. This was intimate.

I could get high. He felt a wave of relief wash over him as the plan started to form. He’d tried hash a few times during the Gulf War. He remembered one of the guys from his unit had seen it as their right, a reward for doing what they did.

“That’s how assassins got their name, you know,” Brad had told Jack one night.

“What?”

“Yeah. Right here, man. F*cking Arabs. They’d get high on hash before they were sent out to kill someone. So they wouldn’t care, you know? Called themselves the Hashashiyyin. Hashashiyyin, assassin – get it?”

Jack had looked it up later and realized the guy had only got it partly right, but the idea had worked for them at the time, and it might come in handy again now. He’d never used before a mission, and never used heavily or even regularly, just now and again to relax with the guys. Using it now was a bit risky. It might set a bad precedent. He’d seen what could happen to guys under cover who started using. Sleeping with someone isn’t a regular mission, he reminded himself.

He knew where to score thanks to his days with the LAPD. Fortunately, he’d been working SWAT, not undercover, so there wasn’t a risk of being recognized.

Tucking the small foil package safely into his wallet, Jack bummed a smoke off a guy as he left the pool hall. He’d smoke them together later when he got back to his apartment. He didn’t want to drive under the influence – the last thing he needed was to attract the attention of local law enforcement. It wasn’t as good a hit as hot-knifing, but it left less evidence. He still remembered Teri wondering how he could burn the ends of not one, but two knifes getting toast out of the toaster while she and Kim had been visiting her sister Carol one weekend.

“Why didn’t you unplug it? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?” She’d wondered. Guys can be so stupid sometimes. Even the smart ones.

Brad didn’t come over much after that. It’s not that Teri would have minded that much. After all, they’d smoked enough joints together in their time. He just felt sheepish admitting the truth. Here he was a grown man with a daughter and a good job – a cop, no less – doing hash with his buddy like a college student. He smiled at the memory.

He opened the door to his apartment, tossing the keys on the small table inside the front door and his jacket on the chair.

Jack Brownlee isn’t as tidy as Jack Bauer.

The light on his answering machine was blinking.

“Jack, buddy!” It was Fred. “Dwayne and some of the guys are coming over to watch the game. I think Ja-ane might come over too to hang out with Stella.” Fred’s voice was sing-songy, teasing. “Come over around 7:00. Bring some beer.”

Perfect. That gave him half an hour, and Fred’s place was just around the corner. He poured himself a bowl of cereal. His stomach was churning, but he hadn’t eaten all day and he didn’t want the beers that he’d be drinking to go to his head too fast. Then he smoked the hash and turned on the shower to wash off the smoke smell. He hadn’t been a smoker since Teri got pregnant with Kim. The hot water felt good. Really good. Sooo good…

Sh-t. This stuff is strong! He’d have to be careful.

A few minutes later he was sitting on Fred’s couch, Jane standing over him, offering to get him something to eat.

“Sure, honey.” Don’t call her sweetheart. Never sweetheart. That’s only for Teri. “Now that you mention it, I am kind of… hungry.” He allowed his eyes to move over her, lingering on those amazing tits before reaching her face.

He groaned inwardly. Oh jeez, that was corny. He was really out of practice. He tried to make his eyes smolder. Maybe the hash had been a bad idea. He was having a bit of trouble keeping a straight face. Focus, Jack.

Jane paused, checking to see if he was serious. There was a hint of a grin, but maybe he was just relaxing at last. He was always wound so tight.

Hmmm. What’s got into him? You wouldn’t have thought he knew I existed yesterday.

She let him wait for a bit, then came back from the kitchen and set down a plate with a sandwich on the table in front of him, bending low so her top gaped open just at his eye level. He looked at her, putting his hand on her back lightly. He’d already downed two of the beers he’d brought over, making this a little easier than he’d anticipated.

Thanks, Jane.” He let his hand slide further down her body as she straightened.

“Any time,” she purred, lifting her already short skirt to step over his outstretched legs. He could hear her giggling with Stella when she got back to the kitchen.

“Atta boy, Jack!” laughed Frank. “I’m sure she’d feed you more than a sandwich if you wanted.”

“Oh yeah? Well, let’s just see about that.” Jack stood up. He hadn’t touched the sandwich. His stomach was in knots.

“Hey, Jack! Where you goin’?” Dwayne asked. “The game’s still on!”

“Oh, it’s on, alright. Game on, man.” He high-fived Dwayne and headed towards the kitchen, followed by the hoots and jeers of the other guys.

I’m so sorry, Teri. He allowed himself one last thought of her, then turned off the switch in his head labeled Bauer and gave himself to his new identity.

--------------------------------

A few hours later Jack lay in the dark of his bedroom, Jane tucked under his arm, asleep already.

Oh, my f-cking god.

His legs were still shaking and his balls ached. He had been shocked at how aggressive she had been. He had never been f-cked as hard and long as that. You couldn’t call it making love. Not by a long shot. He and Teri were always more gentle with each other.

That was amazing. She was A. Maze. Ing.

He felt guilty even thinking it. Suddenly he had to get to the bathroom. He pulled his arm out from under Jane, not even caring if he woke her. He ran into the bathroom and closed the door, turning on the water in the sink just in time to cover the noise as he retched into the toilet. He leaned back against the side of the tub, held the back of his head with his hands and sobbed.

--------- July -------------

Walsh was already leaning against the pier railing, two coffees at the ready, when Jack arrived. He watched the younger man cross the street. He looked… different. Harder. Thinner. Like he hadn’t been sleeping enough, and drinking a bit too much.

“Jack.” He held out one of the coffees. “Double-double, right?”

“Richard.” Jack took the coffee gratefully. He had a hell of a hangover. He was glad they were meeting outside so he could keep his sunglasses on. “Yeah, thanks.”

“You look like crap, Jack.”

“Nice to see you, too, sir.”

“Okay, moving on. How is it going? Are you getting what you need from Jane?”

And then some, sir.

“Yeah. Turns out when she was with Artie he took her with him sometimes when he met with suppliers and people from the other cells. Sloppy of him, because she has a big mouth, at least with me. I’ve gained her trust.”

A really big mouth. A great mouth.

He shook his head slightly and focused. “The contacts are on this.” He handed Walsh a diskette and the other man causally tucked it inside his sports coat.

Walsh took a sip of his coffee, studying Jack over the rim. “Do you know what they have planned?”

“Not yet.” He frowned. “But there’s something big coming up pretty soon. They’ve been asking me to buy enough fertilizer to do some heavy damage. I’ll know more by the end of the week, as I’ll have to have the information to help them start planning the charges.”

Walsh nodded. “Okay. You know how to get in touch.”

“Yes sir.” Jack turned to go.

“Jack.”

“Yes, sir?” He looked back.

“I meant what I said before: you look like crap. Don’t let them take too much out of you.”

Jack gave a small, ironic laugh. “But sir, it’s not me they’re taking it from. It’s Jack Brownlee, remember?”

Walsh watched as Jack sauntered off down the pier, throwing his empty cup in the bin and leering at some pretty girls over his sunglasses. He sighed. He hated this part of dealing with an agent undercover for the first time. Why did the good guys like Jack have to become so much like the scum in order to stop them? Some of them never learned how to fully come back. Please don’t let Jack be one of those.

As he opened his car door, the thought hit him: Jack hadn’t even asked about Teri or Kim.

---------- October ------------

Jack and Teri were making love. It was a few weeks after the mission had ended, and he was finally starting to feel at home again. God, I missed this. He hadn’t wanted to be intimate as soon as he got home. He wanted to get the results from the clinic first, make sure he was clean. He told Teri it was so they could get to know each other again, like they were dating. She’d pretended to buy it.

In fact, she found she had needed some time to adjust. He seemed changed, more distant. She had enjoyed the romantic part of it, pushing her sister’s comments to the back of her mind: “When a man brings you flowers for no reason, there’s always a reason.” Not Jack.

Ohhhh, yeah…yeah…  Without thinking, he did the thing that Jane really liked.

What the? Teri looked up and saw Jack, eyes closed, miles away. She pushed him off and struggled away.

“Jack?”

He lay beside her, looking confused. “Teri?”

“What the f--k was that?” She rolled over to the side of the bed and sat there, back turned to him.

“Teri? What is it?”

“You’ve never done that before. Is that something you learned while you were away?”

“Wha—” Oh sh-t. Sh-t! What had he done? It had been so long, had he really forgotten how to be with her? What had Jane done to him? Dammit.

“I felt like a hooker, Jack. That’s something you do with a hooker --- Oh, my god.” He reached for her but she pushed his hand away. She turned to look at him, shock and pain in her eyes.

“Did you have to sleep with hookers?”

“No! God, Teri! No.” He crawled over to her and sat behind her, reaching his arm around her.

“What do you think I am? Do you really think I could sleep with some random prostitute?”

No, I just had a full-on relationship with one. Wait. That wasn’t fair. Sorry, Jane. He had actually started to care for her by the end. He found it just wasn’t in him to be with someone if he didn’t.

His wife had turned away from him again and he could hear her starting to cry.

“Teri. Teri, look at me.” He turned her face gently.

“I love you sweetheart. You are my world. You have to believe that.”

“Then why? What… I don’t understand, Jack.”

“I don’t know. I guess – I missed you so much, and the men I was with… watched a lot of porn. I’m sorry, baby.” He had to admit, that sounded pretty lame. He held his breath.

“Fine, Jack. Whatever.” She shook loose from his embrace and stood up, walking to the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face, then braced her arms against the sink and looked at him over her shoulder.

“Look, Jack. I know we’ve been married a long time,”

“Teri, I…”

“No, let me finish. I’m no prude, Jack. If you want to mix it up a bit, I’m game.”

He hung his head, rubbing his hand through his hair, then tossed his head back and looked at the ceiling.

“It’s just, jeez, Jack, you have to warn me if you’re going to do something like that. Okay?”

Jack got up and walked over to her. “Okay. I’m sorry. I really am, Teri. C’mere.”

She looked up at him, searching his face. “Don’t ever cheat on me, Jack. Promise me that you won’t, no matter what they want you to do.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He drew her close. She snuggled in against his chest and he kissed the top of her head, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He stared at his reflection while he rocked Teri gently. Watching until he was sure the eyes he saw looking back were those of Bauer. No trace of Brownlee. Not anymore.



------- Fin -------



That’s it. Please review! 


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